I have been following BTWT and dreaming of my own breastmilk ring for almost 8 years. When my first daughter was born in 2016 I fought so hard for the right support and was so proud of us succeeding that I knew I wanted to celebrate with one of your rings. I also knew I wanted more children so I froze my last pumped milk with the plan to eventually combine all my children’s’ milk into one ring.
My second daughter was born in 2018 and the first thing I did was freeze her pumped milk!
In 2022, we finally decided to try for baby number 3. After a perfect 12-week scan we surprised our daughters with the news. Just five weeks later, we couldn’t find bub’s heartbeat. All alone, I heard the words “I’m so sorry I can’t find a heartbeat and there’s no movement”. Four days in a blur of grief and disbelief while trying to support our girls in their grief, we waited until my induction booking. I was induced and laboured for 12 hours until a perfect, impossibly tiny baby was born inside his sac, just 17 weeks old. Every time I closed my eyes in hospital that night the name Jacob came to me. In the morning we named him Jacob and held him to say goodbye. We mourn not only losing Jacob, but all his firsts and lasts we’ll never experience with him. No giggles, no squeezy cuddles, no “I love you, mumma” spoken from his lips.
Something drove us to try for a fourth baby. A perfect, textbook pregnancy, marred only by anxiety, until my waters broke two weeks before my C-section date. I had an emergency C-section and Bub landed herself in special care with immature lungs. An excruciating week of pumping and not holding our baby while traipsing past the delivery room I birthed Jacob in almost broke me. Our third daughter turned a corner and we were able to come home; and breastfeeding her these past 8 months has been joyfully healing.
Purchasing these rings feels like an incredible honour to celebrate, to grieve, to remind me how far I’ve come as a mother, and to live.
Having Jacob close by with his three sisters, together, is all I could wish for in this life. Until we meet again, this ring set will be a thread that helps hold my broken heart together and keeps them all close. I am so thankful to you Melanie for sharing your talent and passion with the world to make this token of my immense love for my children possible.
